The Ages of Woman – 60’s (Part II)

I wrote the original of this post in September of 2011. Since I was only 67 at that time, it was a bit premature, I think. Now that I’ve passed my 70th birthday (2 days ago), I figured it was time to up-date it with “the rest of the story.”

I left you after the doldrums of that awful summer in Dallas – too hot to breathe and too dry to live. I reported that, living in liminal space as I was, there was something I really needed to learn. Perhaps that something was a deeper connection to God (particularly with the Holy Spirit), and a stronger connection to the church.

In September 2011, I was fortunate to attend a workshop on the Emerging Church, and I heard Nadia Boles-Weber and Brian McLaren both speak.

In November, the smoke detector at our house went crazy (on a Friday evening about 10 pm) and we discovered it was wired into the electricity of the house (no battery to replace) and we couldn’t get it to shut up. Big Al got up on a chair (with me dithering all the time for fear he would fall) and examined it, but nothing would make it quit squealing, and we finally ended up knocking it out of the ceiling with a broom handle.

We called our handyman to come repair the damage on Monday (to the tune of over $100) and I declared that we HAD to get the house back on the market and sell the thing and get moved, and let the maintenance men who came with the house take care of crap like that!

We spent Christmas in Madisonville with Bill, Erika and the kids, with all the obligatory mess and festivities.

Al got a flat-screen TV for his birthday, to use as a monitor for his computer, so he was a happy, happy camper. It’s big enough that he can see everything!

In February, we got really serious about selling the house. (I may have thrown a couple of fits at the idea of spending another summer in Dallas). In order to make the house more sellable, we had the kitchen repainted, including the nice wood cabinets. We also had the tile in the “big” bathroom refinished so it was white instead of green.

In April, there was finally some movement on selling the house, and toward the end of the month we accepted an offer. The early part of May was spent cleaning out, donating, throwing away, and packing all the detritus of the last 12 years of our lives. Bill and the kids came up for a weekend to help pack the electronics and movers came and carted away everything we would need in Washington.

We signed the final papers on May 18th, stayed one more night in a motel, and the next morning, bright and early, we got out of town. Then began our epic journey from our old life to our new one. You can read all the blogs I posted from the road if you look up all the dates from May 18, 2012through June 18, 2012.

In June we arrived at Franke Tobey Jones and moved into a one-bedroom, teeny, tiny apartment, while we waited for somebody to either move out of a duplex, or die. We were top of the waiting list, but it seemed like everybody who had a duplex was disturbingly healthy.

We got it all unpacked and settled in at the Garden Apartments. We loved the weather – cool – very little rain – blue, blue skies – sparkling Puget Sound – great views of Mt Rainier.

We took the ferry over to Vashon Island.

and went on the bus from Franke Tobey Jones to Paradise on Mt Rainier

and we took a cruise around Elliott Bay in Seattle to “Meet the Fleet”

and went to see Mount St. Helens.

We also enjoyed an annual picnic at Franke Tobey Jones, and several concerts on the lawn.

We settled in at Bethany Presbyterian Church, and attended their National Night Out Street Party, and their annual Picnic.

In September, we explored a little bit on the Olympic Peninsula and spent several days at an Armed Forces Recreation Area by the ocean.

In October we went back to Vashon Island with a trip with FTJ.

At the end of October, Margaret Dickey died. She was the last of my mother’s generation, so I felt like I had to attend her funeral. I figured while I was that close I would visit Bill, Erika and the kids, so I spent a week in Covington before returning to Tacoma. I got to see one of Kate’s school programs while I was there.

I returned to Tacoma on the train, and brought an awful cold with me (courtesy of two grandchildren). It was a nice ride, though, particularly since the sleeping car attendant brought me my meals and took great care of me, since I was feeling so awful.

We had Thanksgiving Dinner in the Dining Room, and it was very nice, even though we didn’t have family to share it with.

While I was in Louisiana we learned there was a duplex that was going to be available in January, and we counted that as our best Christmas present. FTJ throws a big Christmas celebration in all the buildings on campus, and we wandered around looking at all the decorations and Christmas trees.

The church always has a Christmas play every year, and in 2012 they did a Charlie Brown Christmas.

We had a quiet Christmas Day with just the two of us (although we did go out to eat at the Lobster Shop down on the Sound.)

In January 2013, at last we moved into our duplex – got all the boxes that had never been unpacked emptied – and settled in.

Through February and March we learned to appreciate our little home. It was wet and cold outside so our activities were limited to car rides and restaurant visits.

Then in April, the world burst into bloom. I  have never been around rhododendrons before, but I was entranced to watch all the bushes on campus burst into spectacular color.

The mountain came out from behind the clouds, and we were able eat out on the deck at the restaurants on the sound.

I got flowers and filled pots for the back deck

We continued to take advantage of various day trips from FTJ, and we went to a couple of local wineries, and to Northwest Trek, an outdoor wildlife park.

Bethany had an empty lot that they turned into garden plots for members of the church and for the neighborhood. We dedicated it in July.

In August, I returned to Mt Rainier, and the Lunch Bunch from FTJ visited Olympia and their farmer’s market. We also had a street party at the church, their annual picnic, the annual picnic at FTJ and more concerts on the lawn.

I became interested in Pierce County Hunger Advocates, who encourage churches to write letters to government officials in support of efforts to eradicate hunger in this country and abroad. I’ve ended up being the Facebook master for the organization, and spend a fair amount of time posting articles from Bread for the World as well as other Hunger Advocacy groups around the area.

Ray, my #1 son, at age 47, finally decided to get married. So in November, Big Al and I took the train to Chicago for several days of festivities prior to the wedding, followed by the wedding itself, the reception, and a return to Tacoma on the train.

The best part was a mini-family reunion, as all my siblings and their spouses, and both of Al’s siblings attended. It gave us all a chance to catch up with each other’s lives. and a wonderful time was had by all.

We got back just in time to breathe a minute before it was Christmas – our first in our little house. All the obligatory December things happened including the big Tobey Jones Christmas party, the play at the church, and Christmas dinner at the restaurant on the Sound. We continued to marvel at all the sights at our place as the year came to a close.

I finally decided to do something about my weight, and went on a strict, medically supervised diet. So far it is working well and I’ve lost almost 60 pounds. I have many more pounds to go, but it’s a start.

I went on the Session at church in January, and I continued to work with Pierce County Hunger Advocates. In March we put on a symposium on hunger and had our US Representative, the Honorable Derek Kilmer as the featured speaker.

In the spring, I had the landscaping maintenance men dig a small flower garden for me along the fence behind my house.

And thus began the battle of the deer! They are completely destructive around flowers, and you would think, with a whole forest to forage in they wouldn’t need to destroy my garden, but you would be wrong.

In June, Big Al and I took the train to Portland, just for lunch. It was a lovely ride and a nice day.

I also went to Seattle with the FTJ Lunch Bunch for lunch at the top of the space needle. Beautiful views including Mt Rainier.

Other sightseeing this summer has included a return trip to Northwest Trek and a visit to the Mt Rainier Scenic Railroad.

Since I’ve been losing weight, I love walking, particularly along the sound.

Bethany had a service project during a church service to pack school bags (Gift of the Heart Kits) for Presbyterian Disaster Assistance and Church World Service and I was in charge of the project.

And that’s the rest of the story of my 60s.

Expecting the Word – Advent One – Saturday

My Advent series this year will follow the Words Matter Advent study from the National Council of Churches. Download the whole booklet if you’d like, and follow along with the writings for each day. I’d love to discuss them with you. Also, here is a link to the Advent readings from the Inclusive Bible. I prefer the more inclusive language here, than the NRSV texts used in the study booklet (be sure to read the note on page 6).

Mark 13:24-37.

We had two writings on the passage today in the devotional, but both seem to be focused on how the Chosen One will come to us. For one, the coming takes place in church where she expects to hear, feel, touch, and act out the Word. For the other, the Word comes to her in her everyday surroundings. For both, the coming depends on their own perception.

I took a long while this summer to write down my memories in the Legacy Project. As I was prompted to think about my life, I was amazed at what I remembered. There are whole days and seasons that I remember very well – the taste of the food, the feel of the sunburn, the sounds going on around me, the sights of new places. There are other gaps in my memory – I basically remember where I was and what was going on, but the sensual element isn’t there. Is that because I wasn’t really paying attention then? Probably.

Did I miss the coming of the Savior?

During this Advent, I’m going to try to pay better attention to the things happening around me, so that I don’t miss the coming of God into the world. When it happens, I really want to notice!

This and That

I know, I know. I’ve been sorely remiss in updating this blog. (You’ve heard all of these excuses before.)

What I’ve been doing.

1. On Thursday I have to give a talk to a bunch of other old people about “The Turks in Dallas.” You’ve probably noticed a couple of times when I’ve mentioned that we were going to have dinner with the Turks, or I’ve talked about our Turkish friends. There’s quite a thriving community of Turks here, and they are wonderful hosts. They are mostly Muslim (about 96% of the population of Turkey is Muslim), and they reached out to the Christians in the area shortly after 9/11. Through the church, we were invited to an Iftar (the traditional breaking of the fast during Ramadan) at the home of a lovely young couple, and since then we have had them to dinner and invited them to a Christmas Eve service at the church. Additionally, their community has a Saturday-night Social a couple of times a month, and we are always on the invitation list. They serve traditional middle Eastern food and have speakers about a variety of topics. Their women’s association, TAWA (Turkish American Women’s Association), has luncheons, and gives classes in Turkish cooking. They also sponsor Friendship Trips to Turkey and the participants are hosted in Turkish homes. We haven’t ever been to Turkey, but it would be nice sometime. At any rate, I’ve been busy boning up on Turkey and writing and practicing my speech.
2. I’m still very active in the Facebook Presbyterian Women Interest Group. As one of the organizers, I try to keep track of our membership, and to send each new member a note of Welcome when they join. We’ve had an influx of new members since an article about us appeared in the PCUSA Newsletter. I also am an on-line Circle Leader, and help lead the Bible Study on the Beatitudes right here on WordPress (it’s a closed blog, so if you’re interested, leave a comment and I’ll add you to the group.)
3. I’ve started working on a darling hat for Kate for Christmas (don’t show this to her if you’re reading this). I’m doing it in purple that has sparkles in the yarn. I think it will be just perfect for an almost-10-year-old.
4. I’ve finished the current book I was reading. You can read my review on my “Books I Have Read” page. It was the newest Jack Reacher, and was pretty good, but not quite up to Lee Child’s usual standards.
5. The new “Words Matter” study for Advent (expecting the word) is out, and I will be using it for my Advent blog series (Hooray, Abbie is finally going to be blogging regularly again!) You can download the booklet in .pdf format if you want to get a jump on me. This booklet is really expanded from what we have had in the past, with photographs, poetry, and art work. I’m very impressed.
6. The current book I’m reading is Down We Go: Living into the Wild Ways of Jesus, by Kathy Escobar. It talks about how we should be downwardly mobile, rather than upwardly mobile, if we are going to fulfill Jesus’ mission. I’ll probably be blogging more extensively on this in the coming year. She draws on the Beatitudes and it seems like it is going to fit right in with where the Spirit is leading me in these days of the Occupy Movement.
7. I continue to update and work on the genealogy, and attempt to put my Legacy posts into a form that I can self-publish.

So you see, I haven’t been wallowing in sloth, even though I haven’t been posting here. From the stats here, it looks like lots of people have found this blog because of my posts about Maggiano’s Thanksgiving Dinner (by the way, we’ll probably do that again this year as we’ll be heading to South Louisiana for Christmas). I hope some of them were tantalized enough to read elsewhere on the blog as well.

Renewed Interest

As I said yesterday, I am diving into a renewed interest in genealogy. I realized when writing my Legacy Project blog that I was the keeper of much of the family history – on both sides. In 1990 (or there abouts) Al’s mother became very ill and had to have an operation to remove her gall bladder. Jan had a young teenager at home, and Larry and Marianne  had kids at home, too. I only had Bill and Big Al in the house then, and Bill was a junior in high school, and well able to take care of himself and his father, so I picked up and drove to Florida and spent three weeks there helping Mom and Dad as she recuperated from her operation. Because of that, I was able to hear many of her memories of when she was a little girl. I haven’t written many of them down yet, but I intend to.

I suppose because of that, and because she knew I had a flirtation with genealogy in the late 1990s, she made sure I had access to Aunt Nellie’s Bible where she (Aunt Nellie) had listed all of the Watters back to the old country – and had dates and birthdays for them. With the wonderful resources that are available on-line, I have been able to get the Watters sorted out. I’ve also been able to get her birth father’s relatives sorted out, and get them properly placed in the family tree.

My interest started in genealogy started when my great-aunt Mamie had her daughter type up a diary/memoir from HER great-uncle (sorry, I haven’t gotten the “3rd great” or “5th grand” language down yet). At any rate, William Spencer Eakin had written a little history of the Eakins sometime prior to 1848 when he was lost and presumably died in Mammoth Cave in Kentucky. Aunt Mame had added names, marriages and birth dates of all the relatives that she knew about up through about 1970. So I had a great jumping off place for my project in the family genealogy.

About the only thing that was missing was any definitive information on Papa’s side of the family, although he knew HIS grandmother who had immigrated from England about 1850, and he knew the names and general birth dates of his father’s father’s brothers who had come over from Germany about the same time. The US Census is WONDERFUL for 1850, 1860, 1870, 1880, 1900, 1910, 1920, and 1930 (the last year it has been released for). You can see people living in the same house, and in the same neighborhood, so, once you know sisters and brothers, you can easily sort out which Harriet Evans from Illinois is the right one for your family. I’ll never again fuss about having to fill out the census forms. Unfortunately, the US Census from 1890 is fragmentary, so it’s easy to lose family units in the twenty years between 1880 and 1900.  I still have some rabbit trails to follow about that time. But this is really fun.

After I get everyone sorted out and in their proper place (I’m aiming for 1850) I’ll start adding the stories that I’ve collected from various people about various people. The last time I was working on this, I didn’t know anything about Nannie’s mother’s family, other than “she was one of the Harrises of Virginia.” But because she had a cousin named Notley, I’ve been able to sort out that family, too, with the help of the census records.

If any of you, gentle readers, have stories about the family that you might want to have included in a family genealogy, please let me know, and I’ll do my best to get them in.

Back to the Blog

I know I’ve been severely remiss the past couple of weeks in posting here. Part of it is the natural emptiness brought on by the major brain dump that I did in the Legacy Project. Part of it is pure sloth, without the prod of the prompts from the Legacy Project to get my mind working. Part of it is that I’ve been busy with church stuff (more mental busy-ness than physical busy-ness). And part of it is that I’ve rediscovered my joy in sorting out the genealogy of the family.

So today, let me tell you about the church/religion things that are noodling around in my brain. You may already understand that I am really interested in the “Emerging Church” movement. (Your first clue was my interest and involvement in #UNCO11. Be sure to check out the category Unco11 here on the blog if you don’t remember me writing about it.) I don’t remember whether I said much about it on the blog, but one of the things that came out of that was a desire to bring some of our expertise in social media to already existing avenues in the church. In furtherance of that aim, a small group of us created Presbyterian Women Interest Group on Facebook. Here’s a short synopsis of that creation, and where we are today.

In May 2011, an ecumenical group of about 75 clergy and laity interested in exploring how the church is evolving and expanding met at Stony Point Conference Center in New York for an “UnConference.” At the end of two days of worship, fellowship, and exploration various members met in small groups to discuss how we could be of service to the greater church. Katie Mulligan, Abbie Watters, Janet Boren and Margaret Aymer Oget participated with several others in one group which was focused on using social media to expand and enrich current programs in the church. In addition to the group in the room, several others, including Sonnie Swenston-Forbes, Laura Viau, and Karen Sapio were with us
virtually (on Twitter). Rather than reinventing the wheel, we thought we could convene a virtual Presbyterian Women’s Circle. In our off-the-cuff, one-hour planning session we hoped we could get 15 or so women who would be interested in doing the Horizon’s Bible Study, and gradually expand from there. We said, “If there’s more interest than that, we should consider splitting into two groups when we reach 18 or 20 members.”

We agreed that we would each use our Social Media contacts to publicize the group. We left the UnConference on Wednesday afternoon, and
Katie went home and set up a private group on Facebook and added the six of us as members. By the time most of us got home on Friday, we had 150 members, and the rest, as they say, is history. By Monday, we realized we had a tiger by the tail, and a steering committee was formed.  That committee met on Skype, and various administrative jobs were parceled out. By the end of May there were over 250 members, and today we have 400 members, nation-wide.

We have Bible study groups meeting regularly in four different media:  Skype, Facebook, blog, and Second Life. We also have the Mission discussion groups meeting on Facebook. The national office of Presbyterian Women has been gracious enough to lend us advisors who are members of our Facebook groups and who help keep us true to the mission and purpose of Presbyterian Women.

I am functioning as registrar, keeping track of new members as they ask to join the Facebook group, and making sure they feel welcomed. I also try to “friend” each of them, and send them a personal message inviting them to choose a Bible study circle, and/or a mission emphasis group to join. That, as you can imagine, gives me something to do every day. I’m also one of the Bible study leaders for the group that’s studying the Beatitudes on the blog.

In the middle of September, Big Al and I drove over to Ft. Worth to the 1st Presbyterian Church there to hear Margaret Aymer Oget preach.

Margaret is the author of the Presbyterian Women Bible study on the Beatitudes this year. It was great to get to see her again (I had seen her at the Texas PW Bible leader training at Mo-Ranch). You can hear her sermon here.

Last weekend, we hosted part of an emerging church conference at Preston Hollow. The featured speakers were Nadia Bolz-Weber

and Brian McLaren.

Nadia is a Lutheran (ELCA) minister who pastors the House for All Sinners and Saints in Denver, CO. That church serves the homeless, drug addicts, and LGBT folk of Denver. Brian McLaren is a nationally recognized speaker on the emerging church. Their messages were basically that we – the mainline, tall steeple churches – need to get out of our own heads and into the world. We need to be authentic, and loving to the least, the last, and the lost, and “it’s not about the numbers.”

So you can see, I’ve been busy trying to reconcile my staid, unchanging Presbyterian soul with what I know HAS to be a new direction for the church. I’m still not sure where I come down on all this, but I am sure we need to begin to get on board for the ride. I’ll be posting more about all of this as the time goes on.

THE SATURDAY EVENING BLOG POST, vol.3, issue 9

WELCOME TO THE SATURDAY EVENING BLOG POST!

This is where bloggers gather on the first Saturday of each month to share their latest and greatest blog posts! This month we’re sharing our favorite post from SEPTEMBER 2011!

In September, I finished my EPIC journey through my life, via the Legacy Project. Here’s the final post, Messages to the Progeny. If you enjoy this one, maybe you could go back through the whole series (going back to some time in June, I think). I had a bunch of fun doing it.

Messages to the Progeny

If you could write a message to each of your children and grandchildren and put it in a time capsule for them to read 20 years from now, what would you write to each?

Ray

You should be just about ready to start receiving Medicare benefits, with only a couple of years to go before you get Social Security. I sincerely hope, and pray, that those benefits are there for you – or at least some sort of retirement package. I know you’ve had a hard time saving, since you’ve spent your best younger years bouncing around from job to job through no fault of your own. I hope you’ve developed a community of friends with similar interests. After worrying about you monetarily, I worry about you socially. I’m usually content with lots of “ME” time, but I don’t know what I’d do without Dad to eat with, and share TV time with. When it comes to making friends and saving money, remember “You gotta do it before you HAVE to do it.” I hope you’re happy and healthy. I know you can entertain yourself pretty well, so I’m not too worried about you being bored. Keep exploring new things, and learning new stuff. I pray you’ve been able to reconnect with your faith in God. It’s essential for me, and I grieve because you seem to have lost it. I love you, MOM

Bill

The kids are grown and moved out of the house, and you and Erika have been in an empty nest for almost 10 years now. I hope you have grandchildren. I know you will love them and enjoy them as much as I have loved and enjoyed mine. Be sure to keep in touch with Ray. He’s probably lonely. Make sure he has enough money to live on (I don’t know where you’ll find it – I’m sorry we were unable to leave anything for y’all – but be sure he’s fed and clothed and housed, please). I know you and Erika will be just fine. You are both so well suited for each other. Remember how much in love you have always been. I hope you’ve been able to do some travelling now that the kids are out and you’re on your own. Try to weed out the clutter and the “stuff” regularly – it’s much easier to do it every 3-5 years than it is to do it all when you’re ready to make your final move. Buy Long-term Health Care insurance when you turn 55. It’s cheaper then, and you’ll have it when you need it. Decide early where you want to retire, and focus on it. I know Erika hates to “plan”, so it will be up to you to get her moving in the right direction. Enjoy yourselves, and take care of my grandchildren for me! Love, MOM

Ian

Oh, my! You must be in your mid-30s now. You had a tough time as a kid, but I hope and pray you’ve been able to live comfortably with your problems. I know you’ve learned many great coping skills to deal with your Asberger’s, and as long as you remember that we’re all cheering for you, you’ll be fine. I imagine you’ve got a job and, maybe, you’ve got a wife and kids. I hope your job lets you use your unique talents in a way that is satisfying for you. If you have kids, I’m sure you are as good a father to them as your father was to you. Be sure to let the grandkids go visit the grandparents as often as you can. They will love to see them, but don’t just dump them and leave. Your folks would love to see you and visit with you, too. I imagine you’ve got a great set of friends. I hope you’ve found a church that speaks to you. Remember that Granddad and I love you very, very much! Love, G’mom

Kate

My sweet Katie! You’re almost 30 years old now, and I’ll bet you’ve already taken the world by storm. You’ve probably graduated summa cum laude from college with your Bachelor’s degree, and maybe, you even have a Master’s degree. If you want to go on and get your PhD, I know you’ll do great with that, too. I imagine you have a husband, or at least a steady boyfriend. I hope he loves you as much as your parents and I do. You tell him he’d better treat you really, really well, or he’ll have me to answer to (if not in this life, then, for sure, in the next one.) Enjoy yourself – travel, go to nice restaurants, see sights, meet all kinds of special people – then settle down and raise wonderful grandchildren for your Mom and Dad to love and spoil. Find your way back to the church. I know God has been calling you since you were a very small child, and She must have great plans for you. No matter what, know you can do anything you want to do – don’t ever let anybody tell you “Girls don’t do that.” Stay sweet, and loving, and happy, and caring. Love, G’mom

 

Penultimate Legacy Post

I’ve finally reached the end of the Legacy Project. I’ll do the last post tomorrow. It will probably be a fairly long one, and I want to have time to do it justice. I played bridge this afternoon and I don’t really have a lot of time to work on it, sooooooo…

Stay tuned, and come back tomorrow for the grand finale.

Memories of Me

What do you see as your place or purpose in life? How did you come to that conclusion? – I see me as the repository of corporate knowledge. Because I have a “fly paper” memory, I seem to remember “stuff” that other people don’t. As I’ve gotten older, it sometimes takes some prompting for me to dredge the stories and scenes out of my brain, but writing this blog, I’ve realized I often remember when and what others don’t. Siblings, cousins, and even children have remarked to me that the episodes and people I’ve recounted here had disappeared from their memories until I reminded them. That’s probably because I preferred being an observer of the family instead of a participant in it. I preferred sitting quietly and listening to adults talk, rather than playing with my cousins, siblings, and others of my own age. I’m encouraging Al to do his own set of questions because he often will say, “You forgot to mention so-and-so.” I respond “Hey, these are my memories, you need to write your own.” It isn’t that I don’t remember most of the things he reminds me of, it’s that those episodes weren’t important to me, while they may have been important to him.

What would you like your children and grandchildren to remember about you? – I would like them to remember that I loved them, and that I did the very best I could for them. I’d like them to remember the way I took care of my own parents, so they will treat me with the same love and respect that I had for Mama and Papa. I’d like them to remember my passion for social justice, and my love of God and the church. I’d like them to remember that family is one of the most important things, and that even if you don’t agree with your sisters, brothers, cousins, and parents, you still need to love and respect them.

Problems and Setbacks

Do you think a person needs to first overcome serious setbacks or challenges to be truly successful? – I don’t think it’s necessary, but it certainly does help in the maturation process. It’s probably better if someone has practice in overcoming small disappointments early (like when she is a child). Understanding that things aren’t always fair, and also that you can still be happy even if you don’t get everything you want as soon as you want it is the result of long practice in not having things always go your way. One of the worse things a parent can do for a child is not let them fail occasionally. When they are allowed to fail in small things they learn how to overcome challenges.

In what way is it important to know your limitations in your life or career? – Again, understanding that you can’t do something and either figuring out a different way to accomplish your goals, or readjusting your goals, is very important to your mental well-being and happiness. Accepting your limitations frees you up to explore different avenues and paths.

If you had the power to solve one and only one problem in the world, what would it be and why? – I would ensure that no one – man, woman or child – had to go to bed hungry. We have enough wealth in the world to solve this problem – if only we quit hoarding what we have, and shared it with folks who don’t have enough.